Aussie Twang

When giving a cricket training session, always speak with an Australian accent. English cricketers lack credibility.

Complimentary Drinks

Are only complimentary if you bring my damn change back.

Avoid Becoming A Zombie: Tip #1

When shooting yourself in the mouth, have your mouth full of liquid. This will prevent any embarrassing 'failing to kill oneself' injuries to the skull and guarantees you won't have to clean up the mess post-game.

Let The Right One In

A fine movie and apparently the book's better. I'll be giving it a read.

8/10

Predictive Text

There needs to be an option to confirm new entries into the predictive text dictionary in all phones.

Words that have been added to my phone today due to this oversight; headphoner and unhygienib.

Here's an alternative plan; as a default, include the words; headphones and unhygienic, instead of lol and :-)

I suppose another idea is for me not to make those errors in the first place...

Longer Lasting Headphones

Somebody needs to get their arse into gear and design longer lasting headphones. Specifically, a longer lasting right headphone. Every pair I've ever had, the right headphone has failed.

Here's an idea to get you clever design type people started; use two left headphones as the default.

Is it too paranoid to think maybe all right headphones are designed with some kind of built in flaw? Just imagine a world where headphones never went wrong. You'd only need one pair, ever. It's like that ad about really long lasting chewing gum. How could a company stay in business if their product was too reliable?

The particularly annoying thing is that they tend to go wrong right at the beginning of a long-ass journey, leaving chumps like me at risk of hearing the inane ramblings of know-all photographer douchebags and the high pitched squeal of particularly irritating soon to be single students.