In The Words Of Sulu...

...oh my...

The Genius Of Mumsie

I got this fantastic Arsenal shirt at the age of 8, now, a mere 18 years later, it still fits.

Here's to Mumsie for making me get a shirt that was MILES too big at the time. Long term, it was a fantastic decision.

6 Toast: Hell On Earth

2 toast has always been the preferred option, but when you feel like slightly more charcoal on your bread, you gotta turn it up.

3 toast! But 3 toast set off the smoke alarm. What does the dial go up to? 6 TOAST!!??!! Why would you want toast THAT toasted? Toasted to dust surely?

I'm too scared to even try 6 toast, what would happen? What would be the worldwide impact? The risks, THE RISKS!!!!!

Walk-On Keyboard Access

When you've got it, take full advantage, because if it gets put out for sale at £2.99, it ain't gonna last long and you may never see it again. Tear.

Point Break

How have I only just seen this. Crap, 7/10.

Does my review make no sense? Possibly. Independence Day is crap, but 9/10 crap. It's damn good crap. Point Break is crap of a quite high standard.

2 > 1

Not the most profound equation admittedly, but it's especially true when it comes to sofas.

Aussie Twang

When giving a cricket training session, always speak with an Australian accent. English cricketers lack credibility.